Summer isn’t over yet, but supermarket shelves are already filled with pencils, pencil cases and school diaries. Back to school is approaching, and if your tiny baby (it’s not true, he’s almost 1 meter tall) is old enough to go to school, there are a few signs that can show you that yes, he’s ready for it . You maybe a little less.
1. He is clean
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Well, not that he was dirty before, huh, but now that means he’s not wearing diapers anymore, and he’s able to hold himself back and ask to go to the bathroom. Which is still point number 1 for entering kindergarten. If you want help with that, we’ve got some potty-training tips for you (no kidding guaranteed).
2. He knows how to write a dissertation with thesis, antithesis and synthesis
And he loves discussing with you economic and ecological conditions and the influence of the reproduction of the gray penguins of southern Bolivia on the rainy season. Yes, he has to go to school there, to learn that it has no effect on the rainy season, it’s a completely stupid theory.
3. He refuses to talk to younger kids because they’re babies anyway.
While in real life, they only have 2 months of months than him, you have to calm down huh. But for him, any child who wears diapers does not deserve to talk to him. He only communicates with those who wear shorts and underpants, only with those who are able to cross the road without giving a hand.
4. He says “pfff, can’t wait for school”
Because he can’t stand seeing your face anymore, he can’t wait to take flight on the school benches. When he realizes that in reality, it’s not so much freedom as that, it might make him a little weird, but let him hope a little, it’s only the beginning.
5. He has already watched all the episodes of Tchoupi goes to school
And he knows exactly what to expect, what the school program will be, what is “recess”, the “canteen” and the courtyard. He already knows everything, he has already seen everything.
6. He asks you to buy holiday notebooks
While he can neither read nor write, but he already wants to get into the bath. It’s cute and a little creepy, but hey, who knows, he’ll be a genius at school, discover a cancer vaccine, receive a Nobel Prize at 23 and be able to buy you a vacation home in seaside for your old age. You always have to encourage curiosity, huh, you never know.
7. He no longer wants his parents, he wants a mistress
For him, this naïve child, the mistress represents the new supreme authority, the one who knows everything, and who replaces the parents perfectly, or even replaces them. Nay my brave unconscious, the mistress is the representation of authority and knowledge THE DAY, the parents are all the rest of the time. Yeah, you’re not gonna be cushy for a second.
8. He taught himself the alphabet.
Because he was pissed off during confinement, and he had to take care of himself. Some have made bread, he has learned to read. Why not tell me, it will always be taken, and the alphabet is really one of the most difficult learning.
9. He cries when he walks past closed kindergarten doors.
Because he thinks the school will be closed forever and he will never be able to go there, and he will be condemned to stay in the nursery with all the other boloss for the rest of his life. But no kitten, don’t worry, it’s just that it’s still the holidays.
10. He’s 18
And there comes a time when you’re going to have to cut the cord and let him get away from you, for your good and especially for his. He is going to pass his licence, but he could have passed his baccalaureate at that age; you have to let him go at some point, it’s all creepy.