Have you always dreamed of becoming a private detective, solving a crime or carrying out a super complicated investigation? Normal, it makes us all want to, but before moving on to this step you might need to get your fingers out and try to solve some of the everyday mysteries that happen at home or at your work. So you will have the necessary training to really understand the tricks of the trade. Check each box in this list and you will get your license.
1. Find your keys
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Already the first thing, when you lose the keys to your home, how long do you need to find them? Do you even manage to find them elsewhere or do you call a locksmith every time and it costs you a ball? If you don’t pass this step already, it’s badly crossed.
2. Solve the mystery of the finished leftover pasta
There was a plate of pasta left in the fridge and a bad guy took advantage of your absence to eat it. Who was it ? Your other half? Your roommate? Your dog ? You completely drunk? Why do you leave leftover pasta lying around anyway? You have to learn how to dose before cooking.
3. Blaming the right person for pissing next to the toilet
It’s always disgusting when you get to the toilet, and inevitably it pisses you off (not in the literal sense), enough to ruin your evenings and your days that you spend wiping someone else’s piss. If you can’t find the culprit directly, it’s still very difficult to become a real detective.
4. Find out who finished coffee at the office without restarting a round
A crime too often unpunished as this but also the best way to train you to “hide” like the real detectives. Disguise yourself as an office plant and watch the cafe area until you find the culprit and smash his knees.
5. Guess who is ringing the doorbell
Ok, maybe I’m exaggerating: guessing who rings the doorbell before opening it may be more of a psychic thing, but being a psychic detective is even better than just a detective, so practice.
6. Find who has logged into your Netflix account
Quite easy since usually when you get an alert, Netflix gives you some clues like the city where the person in question has connected. So if you don’t know anyone who lives in Château-Thierry, that’s a bad sign, but if you can find the culprit, you’re on the right track for your next career.
7. Understand why it stinks in the fridge
THE real enigma of everyday life: why does the fridge stink of cheese, where does it come from? We all wonder and generally it does not come from the food we think but from an old dish forgotten for months in the vegetable drawer. If you solve this mystery you will have the heart to enter crime scenes.
8. Find out who’s kicking your apartment every day
Do you find your sofa ripped open, your cushions on the floor, your plant knocked over, cups all over the floor, scratches on your arms and even shit lying in the middle of the living room? You probably have a cat, you don’t need to be a detective to figure it out. On the other hand, if you don’t have a cat there’s a problem (and a nice first survey).
9. Knowing which apartment the constant fucking noises are coming from
There is often in buildings an apartment from which come cries of fucking that prevent you from sleeping, wake your children or remind you of your celibacy. In any case, it’s boring and if you manage to find the culprits and put them face to face with their crime, then you have a future in the middle of the investigation.
10. Find out who shot JFK
There you arrive on the strong, the investigations a little more complex than “who closed the jar of pickles badly?” but if you manage to solve this crime you will undoubtedly make one of the best detectives in the world, or at least one of the most in demand.