At Topito we sometimes like to push the limits of human understanding to lead our dear readers to ask themselves questions that raise their consciences, offering this invaluable information at the cost of our mental health which is eroding a little more each day because of our tireless desire to seek answers to the mysteries of the universe. You found this introduction unnecessarily long and pompous and after proofreading you even have the impression that it was nonsense? I know, now we’re going to talk about right-wing animals.
1. Cats
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In the entire history of the animal kingdom, no creature has ever been as right-wing as cats, it is even more or less they who invented this political edge. They defend their territory, do not hesitate to free people who venture there, ask for hugs when they want, sleep, eat and always do what they want to do. They also sometimes kill sparrows for fun, which a lot of right-wing hunters do too.
2. Magpies
Jealousy and covetousness quite well qualify this animal which knows what it wants and generally obtains it by stealing it. And stealing the wealth of others to capitalize on it and keep it for yourself is still the story of the right, or of colonization.
3. Hedgehogs
Not only do hedgehogs live at night because they don’t want to meet neighbors and prefer to isolate themselves for walks, but they can also eat their own children if they don’t have enough to eat. Totally right behavior to put yourself before your own family when it comes to survival.
4. Migratory birds
They come to eat in our regions and shoot themselves in the sun as soon as the weather starts to turn, I don’t know what more you need to qualify these beings as right-wing animals, it’s really a rich thing to have the opportunity to bar in the sun when the others remain to die of cold all winter to nibble gravel.
5. Queen bees
When we know that from birth the queen bee will not work, will be protected and fed by the other bees in the hive, will never leave her palace where no harm will happen to her and will only have to worry about laying eggs, we can say to herself that she is still privileged (even if laying eggs is a hassle, I admit). If the other bees are the workers representing the proletariat, the queen is clearly the very toxic boss.
6. Groundhogs
What do you call an animal that doesn’t wank all day except eat, whistle and sleep and everyone stares lovingly at it? Groundhogs are clearly nature’s right-wing Instagrammers who only like to show off by strutting in front of walkers and hikers who are struggling with their race under a blazing sun.
7. Beavers
This motherfucker of a beaver can block a whole stream and make all the local wildlife thirsty just because he likes to make dams, like that to mess around. Putting your entertainment and pleasure before the survival of others is still the basis of the right, it seems to me. Anyway, I don’t know, I don’t know anything about politics and animals, I just lost a bet to make this top.
8. Peacocks
If peacocks were human they would be the big rich gamblers who buy super expensive clothes just to show them off and talk about it in front of everyone. In addition, they are deceitful and do not deserve your trust or your love. Moreover, they are completely indigestible, the peacock is really disgusting.
9. Raptors
Generally when you call someone a “raptor” it’s not to tell him that he has his heart on his sleeve. Raptors are still animals that watch you with appetite when you are dying of heat in the desert, ready to throw themselves on your remains to feed as soon as you fall to the ground. More to the right than that is the Le Pen clan.
10. Lions
They’re there all day, they don’t give a damn, they don’t hunt since the lionesses take care of them, they sleep, fuck and roll around in the grass. Overall the lions are the limit of right-wing Russian billionaires who enjoy their patriarchal system. A nice mess all in all.