There’s no doubt that divorces are hard on families. Not only that, but no matter how young the kids are when they happen, they tend to be toughest on them.
This guy is 17. His dad cheated on his mom with a family friend (who does that?) and eventually married her. They have children together now and his dad has tried to get full custody now and again, hoping they can all be one big happy family (or maybe to assuage his guilt).
OP is happy living with his mother and step dad and asked his father to stop fighting his mom in court because he doesn’t want anything to change.
I am a 17-year-old male, when I was around nine my dad (39M) started seeing a friend of my mom’s (Cheated on my mom) they married, and they now have three kids together.
My dad asked for custody and he was granted to have me on weekends, he seemed happy to have me and always tried to include me in everything but it was kind of weird and frustrating, he even tried to make me call his wife “mom” and went for full custody several times, since being with his wife and making me accept his new family was more important than spending actual time with me alone.
I stopped going to his house when I was 14 he tried to fight for full custody after my mom started dating my stepdad (a nice guy) but I told him to stop.
One reason he doesn’t want to spend more time with his dad and stepmother is that his stepmother is hostile to him when his dad is not around/not looking.
The other reason why I stopped going (I never told my dad this one) is because his wife was so hostile towards me, my dad used to pay attention to me when I was there so I think she didn’t like it that way.
One day told me behind my dad’s back that I was an obstacle to my dad’s happiness that I should just stay with my mom full time.
Recently, things came to a head when his dad and stepmom invited all of their kids to join them on a vacation. OP declined.
When his dad wouldn’t stop pressing him as to why, he admitted it’s because his stepmother is unkind.
Their anniversary was 5 days ago, I didn’t want to go but he called my mom to threaten that if I didn’t go, He’d go to court.
He took his four kids (including me), his wife, his parents, and his parents-in-law to celebrate at a nice restaurant. Once there he said that he had 6 tickets for vacations, I didn’t say anything but then he looked at me and said one is for you, I said “Thanks, but I’m not going”
He seemed angry and said “ok I had enough, why don’t you want to go”, “just because,” I said but then he asked the same questions five more times so the sixth time I said: “Because I hate your wife” then he started asking “why” over and over again.
So I ended up telling him the mean things she said to me, He was seemingly uncomfortable but told us to finish our meal, no one talked for the rest of the night and after we finished I asked my stepdad to pick me up.
I haven’t spoken to my dad since, he just sent me a message asking if I changed my mind about the trip but I said no.
Now his dad and stepmother are on the outs and she’s blaming OP for potentially breaking up their family.
My cousin told me that my dad is staying at my grandparents’ now.
His wife texted me yesterday calling me a brat and asking if I was happy for potentially destroying my half-sibling’s home life. But I just ignored her.
OP admits that maybe he could have waited to bring up the reason until later, but was he wrong to tell the truth?
My cousin says that the kids are hurt and crying because my dad isn’t at home and she says that I should just have said other things or agree and then tell him later that I wasn’t going.
Reddit has some thoughts on the matter below!
The top comment points out that yes, it would have been better to wait but his dad wasn’t giving him too much of a choice.
And this person wishes that adults would really act like, you know. Adults.
The upside is that his dad does at least seem put off by his wife’s behavior.
Maybe this could be the start of OP and his dad repairing their relationship.
It’s never too late…we hope.
I’m glad that OP told his father the truth, despite the time and place and the potential fallout.
What do you think? Would you have handled things differently? Let us know how and why in the comments!