Hello Totemix: here we are.
After a season legendary » filled with cheating, motel, strike for a pain au chocolat and final no-win, Koh Lanta is back. We are very happy of course, but we are also a little scared. Because the injury is still recent, maybe even a little too much. But hey, let’s move on and not sulk our pleasure.
We therefore leave for a tour with 24 illustrious strangers. No legends, no oldies and SO MUCH BETTER. New blood. At last. And a new twist: the cursed totem. A rotten totem from which it will absolutely be necessary to escape, because its sentence is not irrevocable but it should sting.
For the rest, Denis insisted: no cheating this season. Finally normally. Finally if all goes well. Finally we think. Finally, it should. Eh. Good. Here is.
So what should we remember from this first episode of Totem môôôôôôôdit? Z gone!
1. The return of the boat
We love when a season starts with a little old-fashioned boat trip.
They are there, they are 24, they are very nice, they all think they are on a cruise. And then Denis arrives and asks them to FUCK IN THE MOUTH.
2. The MAAAAAUDIT totem
“Hi candidates, it’s just to tell you that this year we put a Cursed Totem and that it will fuck your face lol. Now go to the fleet hicks. »
Bah super Denis, nice welcome.
3. A croupier
Stéphanie looks giga cool and what’s more she does a not trivial job: croupier.
This is where we miss Phil because 100% he would have said ” oh do you ride a horse? »
4. Fouzi’s portrait makes you want to fight
“I am the Mbappé of finance”
You knew you were going to get hated for saying that…
And bah bravo Mbappé, it’s successful.
“I’m ready for Koh Lanta, I know how to sew a pig’s foot”
Ok Lily. No worries, it will surely be very useful.
6. Heavy Blow
Lili and Yannick finish last in the first test and therefore inherit a necklace of shit that systematically gives them a voice against them at each council meeting until reunification. Clearly a big shitty gift, which they can pass on to their worst enemy in the event of elimination.
7. We love Celine
Chosen by the winners of the event (Alexandra and JP), Céline is not really happy.
” Shouldn’t have done that she said, because she didn’t want to be captain AT ALL. Well at least she admits it.
On the verge of adding “mdr really you made the worst choice”. We already love it.
8. Alexandra is very honest…
Maybe a bit too much.
“We will take Fonzy” “We are going to take the maturity of Géraldine” “Céline we selected you because you suck”
She hasn’t even been in the game for ten minutes, she’s alienated half the cast. Big performance.
9. Jean Charles is so cool
There is no valve.
Kind, smiling, JC is too cool. He builds his cabin without asking anything, cushy. He reminds us of Ugo and that’s a huge compliment.
10. Start-up nation
We like some candidates but why are they all young business leaders who speak like on Linkedin there? We haven’t recovered from Colin’s “engineering” to talk about the cabin. Oh is it Koh Lanta or brainstorming before a conference call? Is it going to post inspirational speeches after each piece of advice for doing team building?
Is it going to put a football table on the camp, replace the water with Feed and vote for the best happiness manager?
11. Poor Frank
Imagine, you prepared to do Koh-Lanta for 10 years.
You passed the castings, the interviews, the health tests.
You’re on the job, your whole family is watching you. It’s YOUR night.
And the FIRST image of you is when you drool over yourself like an idiot after eating something stinging. Hard blow for the double of François Bayrou.
12. Immunity Was Terrible
Big showdown for the first immunity test. Suffice to say that Yannick felt very alone despite an incredible performance.
But that was without counting on Céline, who passed 99% of the race on the ground.
13. We hear less Jean-Philippe
JP before the test: “We have the best team, we are confident and we will knock everyone out. »
JP during the event:
14. Victory of the Blues
The blues having won in a very impressive way, the other two tribes will go to the council.
And even worse for the greens, they nab the punishment of the cursed totem: advice immediately after the test. Well, it’s not really a punishment since it even avoids dividing the team with the strategies so in the end, the purples are almost more punished. We see coming miles away that they are going to eliminate Lili and her shitty bracelet while the others are all going to go crazy until their advice.
And that is EXACTLY what is happening. WHAT A SURPRISE. And what’s more, she chooses to give her bracelet to poor Pauline who asked for absolutely nothing.
Goodbye Lili and thank you for stopping by.
15. Setha Ni Understand Nothing
It’s starting to think about the advice in the purples. And inevitably, Céline is threatened after her performance in the event, just like Setha, who is considered too discreet.
But Setha has an idea. To make believe that Céline found the necklace to be eliminated in its place. Simply genius.
The LinkedIn tribe discovers the existence of ants.
17. A very nice piece of advice
Setha and Céline succeeded in making the team doubt…
But not enough. Céline comes out without too many surprises and Setha is in the GIGA SAUCE for the rest.
The master stroke is completely missed.
18. THE GUST
Before leaving, Céline takes the opportunity to try a small tackle against Stéphanie by saying that Koh-Lanta “it’s not poker or vacation”.
But it was without counting on LA RAFALE that Stéphanie returns to him: “I wove the palm tree, I cut vines, I went to fetch water, I did a lot of things while you did nothing. So the blow of the holidays, I return it to you and I thank you for it. With that, welcome back. »
We have never seen such a backlash in the face, it’s incredible. Come on, good road Céline.
Well what a pleasant surprise!
We weren’t expecting much from the season, and yet we had a great evening! A magnificent place, great images, a twist that could well become super interesting, a cast with potential and a missile to conclude.
Long live the sequel. See you next week as usual!