Dating can be a minefield, and that seems especially true these days when people meet online, talk for awhile, and essentially find themselves out in person with a perfect stranger.
Sure, people were always technically strangers, but in the good ol’ days you often at least knew each other’s friends or family and could rely on their recommendation.
This guy matched with a girl online but their initial good conversations kind of fizzled out and they never met…until they coincidentally met at a friends’ wedding and seemed to hit it off all over again.
So me (26M) and Kyla (24F) matched on a dating app. We messaged a few times but nothing really happened from it. Couple months later we see each other at a mutual friends wedding.
We talk most of the night and have a great time. I ask for Kyla’s number from our mutual friend. We text for a few weeks and eventually make plans to meet.
On the day they were to meet up she canceled at the last minute and their messages again petered out.
We have plans to meet for drinks and she cancels last minute. Basically 10 minutes before we are set to meet for dinner Kyla tells me something came up and can’t make it.
I tell Kyla it’s fine and she starts taking longer to text, is short and less engaged. Eventually Kyla quits responding and I move on.
A week later she’s back, apologizing for blowing off their date and wants another chance. He’s reluctant but eventually agrees, though soon after arriving he wishes that he hadn’t.
A week later she calls to apologize and ask if we can meet up again. I agree only because my friends new wife convinced me.
Date comes and it started off rocky. Kyla showed up late saying traffic was bad. She brought up her past relationships constantly and it made me uncomfortable.
She did apologize for canceling the first date, saying she was nervous. She also had multiple drinks and a shot. I only had 2 drinks.
She was also on her phone, not the whole date but enough for me to notice. Things weren’t going well and the conversation was stiff.
When the bill came he said they would split it and she quickly informed him she hadn’t brought her wallet.
He stuck to his guns, telling her he was sorry but he wasn’t paying and he didn’t want to see her again, then left.
When the bill comes they ask how we’re doing it and I say split it. Kyla looks at me and says “I didn’t actually bring my wallet”.
At this point I’m just done and says “I’m sorry but I’m not paying and I don’t think this is gonna work”. I paid my bill and left while Kyla sat there.
She had to have a friend bring her money and now everyone is saying he’s a jerk.
My friends wife calls me that night yelling at me calling me an AH. I guess Kyla’s sister had to come bring her money. I’ve been called an AH by some of the friend group. AITA?
Is he? Let’s hear what Reddit thinks about it in the comments!
The top comment says she created the problem herself by not bringing any money, so really she should be mad at herself.
And if you want to get technical about it, she’s the one who asked him on the date, so she should have been ready to pay.
Even if you think the other person should pay, you should always bring money to cover yourself, because what if?
Dating should be about getting a free drink (or several).
It seems like most people expect to split on a first date.
I say if you have an expectation of someone paying, fine, but I would always bring money. What if dinner sucks and you want to get Taco Bell on the way home?
How do you view dating? Does the inviter pay? Do you always split? Sound off in the comments!