If there’s one thing I’ve learned by reading posts and comment threads on Am I The A$$hole, it’s that there are far more adults being allowed to behave badly than there should be – full stop.
Too many people are putting up with poor behavior in relationships, too, and this woman is no exception.
She has a teenaged son from a previous marriage who has a good friend at school. She and this other boy’s father have become friendly at pickups and dropoffs, but nothing about their relationship has crossed a line – despite what her current husband regularly insinuates.
I have a son (adam 14) from my previous marriage, I’m currently with my husband of 4 yrs.
I handle everything related to Adam’s school. He has a friend (Dean 14) that he started hanging out with a year ago.
Dean is an amazing boy and has been nothing but a great influence for adam.
I met Dean’s dad (Mike) who’s a single dad and we’d see each other daily for school pick up/drop offs. My husband kept asking about Mike and pointed out that he’s being boundary stomping but I disagree.
Her son has been seriously ill lately and his friend has been there for him through it all. On the occasions when his father has also been around, OP’s husband has been rude and hostile to the point where OP has told him to knock it off because it’s affecting the boys’ friendship.
Unfortunately, Adam fell sick months ago and had to undergo a surgery recently.
It’s been hard but Dean kept visiting, sometimes Mike would come too and my husband would either ignore Mike or make passive comments towards him.
Mike picked up on that and I told my husband to knock it off cause his hostility affected Adam and Dean as well.
After OP found her son super upset and learned that his friend had cut off all contact, she found the friends’ phone in her husband’s car.
Days ago, I found Adam crying in his room, this was weeks after getting discharged, I asked and he said that Dean sent him a text telling him they were no longer friends and blocked his number. I was confused they were fine.
I wanted to go talk to Dean but the next day I found his phone in my husband’s car.
Her husband eventually confessed that he’d stolen the phone and sent the friendship “breakup” text to her son so that he could keep the friend’s father away from his wife.
I confronted him and he said he “borrowed” it from Dean but I didn’t buy it. After pushing he confessed that he stole Dean’s phone at the hospital and sent Adam a text telling him to not contact him again.
I asked why and he said it was all Mike’s fault for being too close to me and acting inappropriately, and said that he didn’t want to directly tell Adam to no longer speak to Dean and chose this strategy to not make Adam hate him while keeping Dean and by extension Mike away.
OP lost it, yelling at her husband for being immature and honestly crazy, and for putting his own insecurities over the happiness of her son and his friend.
This hit a nerve so hard I started screaming at him.
He said he already expressed how uncomfortable he felt with Mike being around and I kept brushing it off.
I said it was because of how ridiculous his argument was, Mike has been nothing but respectable and helpful, I yelled calling him insecure and unreasonable and also cruel for causing Adam heartache with his stunt.
The husband begged her to keep it between adults, but OP thought that to put it right, she needed to be honest with everyone involved.
Now her husband is angry with her for turning her son against him (in his mind).
He begged I don’t tell Adam but I took the phone and returned it to dean and explained to him and Adam what happened.
Adam is no longer speaking to my husband and he is blaming me for telling instead of keeping it between the adults like I’m supposed to.
Does Reddit agree she should have handled it differently? Let’s find out!
The top comment is as confused as the rest of us about how an adult could act this way.
Plenty of people feel as if his actions were unforgivable.
They think his actions prove that he doesn’t care about his stepson at all.
Because he’s absolutely crazy.
Many people agree there’s no coming back from this incident.
Do you agree with them that she should be done after this? I think I do!
Tell us what you think about it down in the comments!